A Sweet Disaster
by That Creative One
Summary: With some persuasion from Courfeyrac, Enjolras agrees to take a cooking lesson from Grantaire, who will no doubt hop on every opportunity to annoy Enjolras. But when it comes to culinary achievements, Enjolras doesn't have much room to argue. So Enjolras sets out to explore the world of food- with rather disastrous results. Just a little two-shot I came up with :) Have fun!
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE** Hi readers! So, this was just a little idea I had and decided to put into a two-shot. It involves a clueless Enjolras in the kitchen and a mocking Grantaire; I hope you get some laughs out of it!

Chapter One

"Oh, God, that smells _so_ good," Courfeyrac said, deeply breathing in the wonderful aromas of a bakery in the morning. Scents of delicious pastries, scrumptious loaves of bread, and wonderfully sweet aromas of various desserts floated around the bakery, which Enjolras, Grantaire, and Courfeyrac decided to visit. The bakery was new in town, and Courfeyrac, having a sweet tooth, claimed he had to decide whether the bakery was any good or not. Halfway there-it was a short walk from the flat the two revolutionaries shared-, Grantaire had met up with them and tagged along.

Grantaire nodded and said, "I think I've died and gone to a sugar-coated heaven."

Enjolras rolled his eyes, but even he couldn't deny that the rich aromas of crème-brŭleé, jam tarts and _pains au chocolat_, chocolate croissants, made his stomach growl. Smiling, he and his friends sat down at a table. They were soon met by a young waitress who introduced herself as Adele, and began to place their orders.

"I'll have a canelé, _s'il vous plait_." Courfeyrac said.

"I think I'll just stick with a café au lait, please." Enjolras said.

Courfeyrac rolled his eyes, which Enjolras managed to ignore.

"Hmmm, let's see," Grantaire mused, "Are you on the menu?" he asked the waitress.

The waitress blushed a furious red and shook her head; Courfeyrac said, "Grantaire!" and Enjolras shot Grantaire a _look_.

"I think then I'll stick with a _pains au chocolate_, _mademoiselle_." Grantaire said with a bit of sarcastic seduction coating the last word.

The young waitress, who couldn't be older than 19, shot Grantaire a harassed look and went off with their orders.

"Grantaire, she looked like you had struck her. Seriously, I wished you'd think a little before you open your mouth." Courfeyrac lightly scolded.

"But she looked _delicious_, 'Fey, like a…" Grantaire stopped when their waitress came back with the canelé, coffee with milk, and chocolate croissant. Setting the dishes down, she hurried away without acknowledging any of them.

Both Grantaire and Courfeyrac dug into their pastries; Enjolras watched them with amusement while he sipped his coffee.

"What?" Courfeyrac said, looking up from the half-devoured canelé.

"Just want to remind you that the canelé isn't going anywhere," Enjolras said with a smirk.

Courfeyrac shot Enjolras a _look_, which was lost on him since Enjolras had pretty much invented the _look_.

"Mmmm, this is so good," Courfeyrac said, "I have got to learn to make this. Or you could. It would be fun,"

"Oh, 'Fey, we both know I'm no good in the kitchen."

"More like a culinary apocalypse waiting to happen." Grantaire said with a smirk, earning himself a scowl from Enjolras.

"So take a lesson," Courfeyrac insisted, obviously not wanting to give up his hopes of being able to concoct such delicious desserts.

"I'd be happy to coach you in the kitchen," Grantaire said, and there was no sarcasm or provocativeness behind his voice.

"Oh, yes, pleasepleaseplease?" Courfeyrac looked up at Enjolras with his big brown doe-like eyes, and Enjolras realized there was no way he was getting out of this.

"Okay, fine," Enjolras said reluctantly, and was rewarded with a huge grin from Courfeyrac.

"Good. I'll meet you at your house tomorrow at 3. I have a feeling this will take some time." Grantaire said with a mischievous smile, and Enjolras wondered just what he had gotten himself into.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE** Hello readers! I hope you had fun with chapter one, and if you didn't, don't worry- you will with this one! Please favorite, and thanks for reading!

Chapter 2

Enjolras glanced up from a speech he was writing when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at the clock mounted on the front room wall; it was 2:50. _Of course,_ Enjolras thought, _it's Grantaire._

Sliding out of his chair, Enjolras opened the door, expecting to see Grantaire's sarcastic smile, but instead saw a wall of brown bags. "Um, hello?" Enjolras said, stepping aside.

Grantaire walked past him and, with some level of caution and precision, began to set the bags down. "Hello to you too, Mr. Sunshine. Ready to get started?"

"Er…" Enjolras was staring at the bags that Grantaire had begun to unpack. He picked up a dark green fruit with a bumpy surface. "Any particular reason we need avocados?" he asked, slightly suspicious.

"I figured with your absolute lack of culinary experience we would need to start with something simple. And what's better that guacamole?" Grantaire said, now balling up all the bags.

"…Soup?" Enjolras said, rather intimidated by the thought of making guacamole- but there was no way he was going to let Grantaire see that.

"I decided it might be best to first understand how much you can maneuver in a kitchen, so you'll be making the guacamole on your own. It's easy, and I've got a recipe for you." Grantaire said, handing Enjolras a sheet of paper with instructions on it. "It'll only take about ten minutes. I'll leave you to it," Grantaire said, leaving the kitchen. He then stuck his head back in and said, "After all, how bad can you screw up something as simple as guacamole?"

Enjolras figured Grantaire had never heard the much-loved story (at least by Combeferre and Courfeyrac) about how he once set off a smoke alarm making tea.

He turned back to the pile of avocados, staring at them. Enjolras got the feeling the avocados would win this match.

Sighing, Enjolras looked at the recipe, and felt a little better; it _did _seem rather simple. Grabbing a cutting board, a knife and an avocado, he got to work.

-XXXXXX-

Ten rather stress-filled minutes later, Enjolras presented a rather small bowl of guacamole to Grantaire, who looked rather surprised that Enjolras had not burned anything nor cut himself; maybe this would be easier that he thought. Although the guacamole _did_ look rather brown…

"So, tell me what's in it," Grantaire began his interrogation of sorts.

"Red onion, cilantro, lime…" Enjolras listed.

Grantaire nodded and scooped up a bit with a tortilla chip and took a bite.

"Salt, pepper, two avocado pits..."

Grantaire suddenly began to choke on the guacamole.

"…and tomatoes. Are you okay?" Enjolras asked with concern, since Grantaire was now coughing over a waste bin, which was mainly used for crumpled-up papers when one of Enjolras's speeches or essays didn't go the way he planned. Enjolras turned away and waited until the unpleasant choking/retching sound had stopped.

"For God's sake, Enjolras, what made you think _avocado pits_ are edible?" Grantaire asked, turning away from the waste bin.

"The recipe said 2 avocado pits…" Enjolras's voice trailed off and then became sterner, "The recipe said to mush 2 avocado pits."

Grantaire stared at Enjolras with such disbelief that Enjolras was tempted to ask what he did wrong, but he wouldn't give Grantaire that satisfaction.

"It baffles me how such a smart man as you can be such an idiot in the kitchen, Enjolras. The recipe said _two avocados_. Not _pits_, you-" Grantaire said, shaking his head.

"No need to continue, you have made your point rather clear." Taking the recipe, Enjolras sifted through the instructions once more. "Oh…" Enjolras said, and he felt heat rise in his face; how could he possibly be so thoughtless? Of course pits weren't edible, _nothing_ had edible pits. "Sorry…"

Grantaire rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about it. Everyone's messed up in the kitchen at one point or another. Although, I don't see how anyone could possibly get guacamole wrong; how you even _crushed_ the pits is beyond me…"Grantaire continued.

"Please, don't make me feel more idiotic about it," Enjolras said, and he must have sounded so ill at ease that Grantaire relented.

"Well, for the next recipe I'll coach you. Let's do…well, Courfeyrac loves vanilla, so let's do a vanilla cupcake. I doubt you can mess it up if I'm helping you." Grantaire said, playfully elbowing Enjolras. "I'll let you choose the recipe, since they vary slightly from recipe to recipe."

Enjolras nodded and headed to his room so he could look up a recipe; as he was walking, her heard Grantaire say, "I'd still like both my lungs intact by the end of today, mind you."

Enjolras rolled his eyes. Despite the fact that it was a legitimate concern, with Enjolras in the kitchen.

END

I hope you all liked this chapter I lied; this probably will become a 3 or 4-shot, so we'll find out. Review, favorite, follow, and thanks for reading


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Enjolras looked and looked and looked some more until he was sure he had found the easiest vanilla cupcake recipe on the face of the earth. Hitting the print button, he went to the kitchen and found Grantaire had cleaned the kitchen.

"Okay. I'm pretty sure that both you and I would prefer that we keep today vomit-free, so we'll have to do this one together." Grantaire said with his usual cynical smirk. Enjolras, naturally, rolled his eyes, much to Grantaire's pleasure. His favorite sport was annoying Enjolras.

Enjolras watching as Grantaire's black-brown eyes skimmed over the recipe sheet that he had printed. Looking up, Grantaire said, "I would say this is so easy even you can't mess it up, but clearly _that_ concept is out the window." Enjolras scowled at him, and snatched back the recipe.

"All that happened last time was a little misreading. No need to be melodramatic," Enjolras said, daring Grantaire to disagree.

"I'm the one being melodramatic? When's the last time you ever heard of a recipe with avocado pits?" Grantaire said.

"When's the last time you saw avocado in anything _but_ guacamole?" Enjolras countered.

Sighing, Grantaire said, "Look, do you want these cupcakes ready when Courfeyrac gets home?" When Enjolras nodded, Grantaire said, "Then we better get started now."

Going into the kitchen, Enjolras began to get ingredients down. Carefully reading the first instruction, Enjolras preheated the oven to 350 degrees. He got a bowl and, under Grantaire's strict supervision, began to whisk together sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt. Adding the wet ingredients, Enjolras used an electric mixer to mix everything together.

"Okay, I've got to use the restroom. If I come back and there's a fire, or you chopped your hand off or melted something, don't expect me to help." Grantaire said.

"So nice I can be able to rely on you during an emergency," Enjolras commented drily.

"Oh, I would be a great help- laughing at you." Grantaire said, walking towards the bathroom.

Muttering under his breath, Enjolras proceeded with the recipe, and to Enjolras's delight there was only one step left- putting the cupcakes in the oven. Even he couldn't mess that up, right?

Sliding the cupcake tin into the oven, Enjolras dug through the fridge in search of a can of vanilla frosting. Sure enough, Grantaire had thought of everything. Setting it out to thaw a bit- it was near frozen solid- Enjolras went to his room and read.

Not too long after sitting down, Enjolras thought he smelled something peculiar; going into the kitchen, he was startled to see clouds of black smoke coursing through the kitchen.

"Enjolras, what the-"Grantaire stopped for a moment and started coughing, for which Enjolras was glad, since he probably would have said something explicit, "-did you do?"

"I don't know; I just put them in the oven…" Enjolras opened a window, and, as if by magic, the room suddenly cleared of the atrocious smoke.

Still coughing, Grantaire slid on an oven mitt and, with such precision you would've thought it was a touch-sensitive bomb, took out a smoldering cupcake tin, which was still smoking. "I don't get it. How did it burn?"

Inspecting the oven closely, it took Grantaire a moment to see what had gone wrong. Turning to Enjolras, he asked with deadly calm, "Enjolras, why did you set it to broil?"

Enjolras thought his voice wouldn't have been as scary if he had yelled; he said, "I didn't set it to broil; I must have accidently pushed a button or something…"

Grantaire opened his mouth, probably to give Enjolras a swear-filled lecture, when the door opened.

"What _happened_ here?" Courfeyrac asked.

Uh-oh.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Courfeyrac's nose wrinkled at the burning scent leaking from the kitchen. He glanced from Grantaire, to Enjolras, back to Grantaire, and then to the smoldering cupcake tin in Grantaire's hand. Then the confusion cleared from his face, but he asked again, "What happened?"

"Um, uh….I-…." Enjolras couldn't come up with a response that wouldn't make him look like an idiot.

"Somehow, this foolish idiot managed to broil cupcakes." Grantaire said, obviously not knowing the term, "sugar-coating".

"Oh," Courfeyrac said, poorly concealing an amused smile. Enjolras's face flushed with mortification. Courfeyrac, seeing Enjolras's embarrassment, walked over and placed his arm around his younger flat mate. "Don't worry; we'll fix it." He said with a comforting smile.

"Well, I'm afraid that's impossible. Somehow, Enjolras has managed broil cupcakes." Grantaire said.

Courfeyrac couldn't help it; he dissolved into laughter, and so did Grantaire. Face burning again, Enjolras tried to join them, but failed miserably. Smile slowly fading, Courfeyrac attempted once more at comforting Enjolras; "We'll be able to fix it. We're just going to have to start from scratch."

Enjolras shook his head, much to Grantaire's relief. "I think I've had enough time in the kitchen today. Really, I'd just like to sit down."

"Good, me too. I need a drink," Grantaire said, going over to the fridge and pawing through it, until he revealed in the very back a couple of beer bottles. Courfeyrac reached for one, which resulted in Grantaire hissing, "Piss off! This is mine," and lightly hitting Courfeyrac on the arm.

Smiling, Enjolras joined his friends on the couch, where they watched T.V., and, at least for Grantaire, recounted embarrassing stories about Enjolras in the kitchen.

Until they realized the oven was still on.

Uh-oh.

END

Thank you all so much for reading! This is the end, I hope you loved it!


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